This Drifting Poo Was Far Too Meaningful! It's the TV Disappointments of the Past Year.

Looking back, we consider the television offerings of the recent year, a handful of shows emerge not for their excellence, but for their notable shortcomings. Ranging from awkward sequels to confusingly bad docuseries, here are the productions that had us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

How to start with this divisive spin-off? Plagued with dreadful writing, painful arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series struggled to find its footing. For a moment, as the third season started, it seemed as if it had at last found its groove. Then came an installment centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the creator declared this would be the final series. It concluded on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s loo full of poo was simply too symbolic. Yet, fans undeniably found joy picking apart every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a small sob?

All’s Fair

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was almost the least of this drama's problems. The recipient of a very rare zero star review, it was hard to know where to start listing the problems. The hilariously leaden dialogue? The mind-numbing glorification of wealth and consumption? The almost deliberate parade of cliches? Performances so poor they felt almost spiteful? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and never speak of this series again. However, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Considering the restraining orders, abuse allegations and parental shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d really have known it from this three-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless hedonism while struggling to tell us a single thing we weren't already aware of. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being pandered to, so any pity this series might induce should be saved for the people who have had to suffer proximity with this charming but flippant narcissist.

The Iris Affair

Naturally we knew it was ridiculous from the outset: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of pure love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. That's what you call giving up the ghost.

MobLand

Dodgy characters convening in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.

In truth, that is unfair on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many look a little old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to indulge baffling accents. But there were plenty of other issues. Mainly that it was just profoundly dull; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various cockney rogues which seemed a bit basic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Considering the degree to which she grinds the gears of the nation’s performatively angry commentators, it’s almost easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into quaint homemaking as deliberate statements. But then you view them and are forced to concede that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle catalogue animated; a meme for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, Hallmark sayings and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by vast, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are clearly interesting things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, self-image, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this three-part series opted not to explore them. Instead, the viewing was like reading a sales brochure. She obviously has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any helps with this guarded letdown of a series.

The Inheritance

It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality overseeing her inheritance. What more could you ask for? As contestants competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too confusing to explain what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up reeking of a programme that was straining desperately to live up to something far greater than it.

Too Much

How does one succeed a show that defined a generation? The expectation was immense for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, paradoxically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of famous cameos involved felt uncomfortable.

The Sketch Show Return

Not good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the shrewd recruitment of gifted emerging comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a single joke stretched to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be handled sensitively. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lurching from oddly breezy, slightly mannered farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A total mess? Absolutely.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We admire the star … but did we believe him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so intelligent he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? No! This globe-trotting thriller about government agencies spying on – and eliminating – intellectuals honestly got more farcical by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This uncritical portrait followed the online personality notorious for sexual escapades as she undertook her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was far greater examination of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have spoken to the now-famous mum who appeared to drag her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and zero interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.