A Companion Constantly Focuses About Herself: Is It Time to Distance Myself?

We've been friends with a woman, who has overcome several challenges, which I admire. But, she's often taken by surprise by others. Her husband walked away, which came as a massive blow. Many of close acquaintances disappeared during that time, since they had been only interested in the spouse. This surprised her. She made more effort to be my friend, probably understood better what friendship was.

Ongoing Issues of Disappearance

In the time since, many of her friends have disappeared and she isn't knowing the cause. Her last employer suddenly changed toward her, although she was highly competent, she departed unaware of why things shifted.

Present Situation

Recently, we've both left the workforce leading to more each other more, yet I realize my role between us feels one-sided. I open discussion points only for her to redirect them to her own topics. In terms of politics, she has firm beliefs. My effort is to recommend double-checking information and alternate views.

She is arranging a trip to a country I know well repeatedly and lived in for a while. My intention was to share advice, however, my input met with resistance. She purely only wanted me to confirm her decisions. I have come back from a month in that place and she wants to catch up, however, I hesitate.

Evaluating the Situation

I don't want in this role who cuts and runs without explanation, but I don't think she'll truly understand the effect of her actions on my confidence. At this point, I find myself in distancing myself. How should I proceed?

Potential Solutions

It's possible to end things abruptly, however, that approach is rarely the easy answer we imagine. Yet having a direct talk with a view to resolution requires bravery and readiness for each of you.

Experts suggest using a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Step one is to state how things go during your discussions. This needs to be objective and clear and essentially exactly what occurs. The second is to tell how this makes you feel. Ideally, there's no argument about this. What you feel are valid, of course. Step three is to ask how you are both going to change the dynamics of your friendship."

Keep in mind she too holds perspectives, meaning you must to remain ready to acknowledge it. An approach that works is telling to the other person:

"Please share your thoughts while I will not say anything for half an hour."

Key Takeaways

She may dismiss everything, for those who have a deep-seated story: they have a version about themselves they cannot release since their identity relies on it and it's all they've known. This poses a challenge when there seems no clear path here, just dead ends. Yet she could initially present defensively before reflecting about what you've said. And should you never reach a resolution, it will give you peace knowing you were honest with her.